Why Can't You Be Like Me?, by Sally

Just think what the world would be like if all people were just like me!!! We would all be an introvert, needing to ponder many things before making decisions, a muller, complicated, wanting to encourage rather than confront, a bit touchy. Come to think of it, maybe that's not a good idea. What are you like?? Do you want all others to be just like you?

Since writing Vessels and Flowers and being involved in the seminars and discussions with others about the material, it seems to me that people fall into two categories. There are those that would rather have others be just like them. They are the temperaments and functions that are stronger and feel that they are right most of the time. When they make a mistake, they tend to think, "Oh well, better next time." When someone else makes a mistake they tend to say or think, "If it were me, I would have....." Just for discussions sake I will call these folks Directors.

And there are others who seem to react in a way that they wish they could be more like other people. They are more focused on their own mistakes, and are more forgiving of others when they do err. When they make a mistake they tend to say or think, "Why did I do that??? I wish I could be like her. She is better than me." When someone else makes a mistake they tend to say or think, "She probably has a good reason for that." And again, just for discussions sake, I am going to call these folks Actors.

One might think that the difference between the two is Extrovert and Introvert, but I don't think it is. I have known many a Pitcher(who is an introvert) to think others should be or do what they see as correct. We see these two attitudes during our seminars and discussions about V & F. Directors tend to see others as in need of being like them. Actors are more prone to see their own mistakes and wish they could be like others.

For Directors, when they hear about the other temperaments and how they are made up, it is a real discovery for them. For the first time they realize that God did create others in a way in which they may have previously seen as lazy or weak. I know of a case where two brothers, who are a Pitcher and a Vase, always saw their Golden Pouch brother as lazy and not able to make decisions. The info of V & F showed them that he was not lazy, but pensive and more careful than they were.

I wish I had a nickle for every time I have said that I wished I would have known about this before I went on the mission field. I saw many instances where a stronger temperament and a softer temperament would disagree about doing something important like preach the Gospel to another culture. The stronger would want to go charging in and let those people know that, "You need Jesus!!!!" While the softer would want to carefully, kindly, lead another to Christ.

For Actors, it is a monumental enlightening. Because the stronger folks are more vocal, many Actors think that there is something wrong with them and they wish they could be more decisive as the Directors.

When we begin to describe each of the five temperaments at our seminars, Brenda and I have seen many an Actor start to cry. They are amazed that their characteristics are valid. So many have been shocked at how well we are able to describe not only their characteristics, but their challenges as well.

The challenge for the Director is to be accepting of each of the five temperaments. They can come to the conclusion that probably Miss "Softie" will never be able to do what the Director finds so natural. We are each made differently and in God's plan.

And the challenge for the Actor is to finally realize those traits and characteristics that she has have been shaped and molded by God. He decided that she should be a softer woman.

The task for both is to look at their characteristics and accept what God has created and chosen for them. And also look at the challenges that she has, and ask God to help her in her daily walk to grow into His likeness.

Then there is the principle of understanding. We can not only understand ourselves, as related in my earlier blog, "Understanding Me, Myself And I", but we can begin to understand our sister, our mother-in-law, our teachers, etc. When we realize what temperament and function they are, we are better able to understand why they do and say what they do and say.

In Romans 15:5-7 it says, "May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."

Blessings to you all.