The information in V & F is about identifying what temperament you are and how you function. An example of a vessel is used to give a picture of that temperament, and an example of a flower is used to give a picture of how you function. When you can see that flower in that vessel it is another picture of who you are. Many properties of the vessel and flower are properties of what you are like. But why is that important, especially why is it important to me?
Am I selfish or egotistical because I want to know more about myself? Is it any help at all to understand this about me? Well, of course, I certainly do think it is. And here is why.
First of all, it helps me to accept myself as God created me. In Ps. 119:73 it says, "You have made me and formed me." So, God formed me. Wow! So it is all His fault. My freckles, my awful voice, my short stature, etc. are all His fault. He made the decisions of what I looked like, where I would live, and whose family I would be a part of, and on and on. He decided all of that either before or during my being formed. Now that brings on a myriad of questions. Why, why, why""
Sometimes it is a process to go through to look at all of this, and finally come to the conclusion that God knew what He was doing. His decisions were the right ones and hopefully we can come to the conclusion that God loves us and chose just the right properties of who we are correctly.
In "The Beginning" I mentioned that it took Brenda and me quite awhile to find just the correct vessel to describe what kind of temperament I am. But it finally did happen. The vessel that Brenda found was a Velvet Box. That is me. All of the properties of that vessel fit just who I am. So how does it help me to understand that??
It is very helpful to me to accept myself when I know that God chose that kind of a person for me to be. No matter which vessel you are, many times you begin to think that there is something wrong with you. While living among other people who are other vessels, sometimes we look at them as normal, and what we are as unusual. The one part of our seminar that Brenda and I always enjoy is when it dawns on women that it is all right to be who God created them to be. So many women are astonished at how accurately we can describe just what they are like. When I know that God created me just this way, there are many other women just like me, I can begin to accept myself in spite of all the flaws that I know I have.
Second, understanding brings freedom. I have spent many a year being sad at who I am. I don't like my looks, I don't like my reactions, etc., etc. The information in Vessels and Flowers has taught me all about who I am. I still reread about a Velvet Box. That so describes me and what I am like. And now I know there are many other women just like me. Complicated, touchy, private. All of the properties that I am, I have found out are natural for that particular vessel. I can finally be free to be who God created me to be.
In V & F we give many characteristics of each vessel and flower. We also address the challenges to each one. It can be very exciting to read about the accurate characteristics of each one. But we also caution that we all do have challenges. Just because it is natural for a Vase to be direct and want to move people to "get going", doesn't mean she should do that unkindly. We all have challenges in our natural reactions to line them up with God's Word and Christian principles.
So now when natural reactions come, like wanting to be alone, I can understand them and accept them. I can now even understand the reactions that are challenges. Before when I would get touchy over something said or done to me, I would feel bad that I am like that. Now I know that it is a natural reaction for a Velvet Box. So I have to begin the process each time by stepping back and taking the situation to the Lord and having Him help me deal with myself and others. That process give me freedom. The situation is no longer my master. God is.
And third, I have permission to be me. Me. Sally, in all her glory. I can finally understand what I am all about. It all makes sense to me, finally. I can give myself permission to fail, because now that I understand I can pick myself up and fix the problem with God's help. I accept who I am because God created me just this way.
I surely do not understand just why He chose all of this, but He did. So many problems of accepting myself and going on with the Lord are solved.
I love the verse in Eph. 1: 4 that says, "For He chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight." He chose us. He chose me. So now I can choose to accept me too.
I do pray that this helps you to know that God chose you before the foundations of the world and He formed you with His own hands. You are very precious to Him. God bless you.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
The Beginning, by Sally Pickard
Brenda Dulmage and I were friends in our local church in Lima, Ohio, and were in a Bible study together. We each taught it at different times. It seemed that Brenda usually taught about our personalities, our temperaments, while I was usually interested in how we were motivated and how we function. Some time later my husband and I had moved to Coshocton, Ohio and I invited several friends to a ladies getaway. We had rented a lovely large, four bedroom house. There was plenty of room for us all. During the weekend we ladies were around our dining room table discussing these subjects of temperament and function. Brenda and I were again chatting about our view of how these two parts of who we are were important. And then one of our friends spoke up and said, "This is so interesting, you two should write a book about it." I sat up straight and rolled my eyes. Brenda exclaimed, "Sally, when do we start!"
Brenda and I had seen the two important parts of who we were differently then other authors and speakers. There are several good books about our temperaments. Most see the two different parts of who we are as having two temperament types. However, Brenda and I could see that we each have ONE temperament type, but there is another part of us that really is the way we function. Those are the two parts, temperament and function.
Shortly after this I attended a ladies retreat that changed my life. The speaker was a well known author and a good speaker. I am in no way putting her down, but I noticed that this retreat ended up like most retreats that I had attended over the years. Everyone thought that she was Wonderful! However, there was no meat to the event that you took away that made you better or closer to the Lord. When I got home I called Brenda and told her about my experience and we decided that we had information that was beneficial and would change women's lives.
We could see that our temperament was like our base of who we are. The way we function was like an object that is set inside of that base. We talked and prayed and both agreed that the best format was to choose four vessels that would be the base. And then to choose seven flowers that would be the seven ways in which we function. We could see that when you put that flower in that vessel it is a beautiful picture of who you are.
And Hooray! Vessels and Flowers was born.
After that came wonderful times via email, letters, get-togethers of planning it all. We had wonderful times of prayer and God helped us to choose just the right vessels and flowers to portray these subjects. Once we had it all together, our dear friend, Harriet Gallaway, invited us to present our material at a ladies retreat at her church. I still have dear love and appreciation of those good women who sat through our very first presentation. God bless them.
However, we had a problem. All information on temperaments list four of them. The problem was I didn't fit in any of those categories. Of course, I wanted to be the one that was fun-loving and happy. Who wouldn't ? But that was not really me. I am more complicated than that. And once again I realized I didn't fit anywhere. Brenda and I knew that there is another temperament. We knew what that temperament was like, however we could not come up with a vessel that fit that category. Then one day it happened. I got a call from Brenda, and she told me that she had just found me on a bargain table at T J Max. She found the appropriate vessel that completely explained just who I am. What an event. That particular vessel will be discussed in later blogs.
Vessels and Flowers seminars were then off and running. We wrote our material and published a lovely workbook that we used at our seminars. However, at every seminar, women encouraged us to get this into a book. There is so much material that at the end of them, our tongues would hurt from talking so fast and trying to say so much. We realized we did need to write a book. It took us about a year and a half. It was the most fun I have ever had doing anything. Brenda and I would meet at each others home, at my sister's home while she and her husband were wintering in Alabama, and at a friends cabin in Tennessee. It was such a wonderful experience. Days and nights of discussing this subject. Finally the manuscript was complete.
We submitted our manuscript to an organization that puts it into the hands of Christian publications. We have several good responses. For a year or so we tried to get it published with no good results. There were a couple of known publishers that almost took it, but in the end would bow out. It ended up that we had so many women that wanted the book, that we self-published.
So this is my story of how Brenda Dulmage and I wrote Vessels and Flowers. We love the subject. We love giving seminars. We love helping women see how wonderfully God has created them and was so personally involved in deciding just how they would be knit together for His glory.
Brenda and I had seen the two important parts of who we were differently then other authors and speakers. There are several good books about our temperaments. Most see the two different parts of who we are as having two temperament types. However, Brenda and I could see that we each have ONE temperament type, but there is another part of us that really is the way we function. Those are the two parts, temperament and function.
Shortly after this I attended a ladies retreat that changed my life. The speaker was a well known author and a good speaker. I am in no way putting her down, but I noticed that this retreat ended up like most retreats that I had attended over the years. Everyone thought that she was Wonderful! However, there was no meat to the event that you took away that made you better or closer to the Lord. When I got home I called Brenda and told her about my experience and we decided that we had information that was beneficial and would change women's lives.
We could see that our temperament was like our base of who we are. The way we function was like an object that is set inside of that base. We talked and prayed and both agreed that the best format was to choose four vessels that would be the base. And then to choose seven flowers that would be the seven ways in which we function. We could see that when you put that flower in that vessel it is a beautiful picture of who you are.
And Hooray! Vessels and Flowers was born.
After that came wonderful times via email, letters, get-togethers of planning it all. We had wonderful times of prayer and God helped us to choose just the right vessels and flowers to portray these subjects. Once we had it all together, our dear friend, Harriet Gallaway, invited us to present our material at a ladies retreat at her church. I still have dear love and appreciation of those good women who sat through our very first presentation. God bless them.
However, we had a problem. All information on temperaments list four of them. The problem was I didn't fit in any of those categories. Of course, I wanted to be the one that was fun-loving and happy. Who wouldn't ? But that was not really me. I am more complicated than that. And once again I realized I didn't fit anywhere. Brenda and I knew that there is another temperament. We knew what that temperament was like, however we could not come up with a vessel that fit that category. Then one day it happened. I got a call from Brenda, and she told me that she had just found me on a bargain table at T J Max. She found the appropriate vessel that completely explained just who I am. What an event. That particular vessel will be discussed in later blogs.
Vessels and Flowers seminars were then off and running. We wrote our material and published a lovely workbook that we used at our seminars. However, at every seminar, women encouraged us to get this into a book. There is so much material that at the end of them, our tongues would hurt from talking so fast and trying to say so much. We realized we did need to write a book. It took us about a year and a half. It was the most fun I have ever had doing anything. Brenda and I would meet at each others home, at my sister's home while she and her husband were wintering in Alabama, and at a friends cabin in Tennessee. It was such a wonderful experience. Days and nights of discussing this subject. Finally the manuscript was complete.
We submitted our manuscript to an organization that puts it into the hands of Christian publications. We have several good responses. For a year or so we tried to get it published with no good results. There were a couple of known publishers that almost took it, but in the end would bow out. It ended up that we had so many women that wanted the book, that we self-published.
So this is my story of how Brenda Dulmage and I wrote Vessels and Flowers. We love the subject. We love giving seminars. We love helping women see how wonderfully God has created them and was so personally involved in deciding just how they would be knit together for His glory.
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