Hello Sisterhood,
I want to tell you all about my experience of having a daughter and many, many other spiritual daughters over the last fifteen years, and now I have 12 more.
Our daughter Lynn, (now 39 years old) who is one of the original Pitchers (the only other Daisy in our early writing besides me and Sally), went her own way walking fully out into the world when she went off to college. She had always been the Introvert that didn't even want to sleep over at her friend’s house. She transferred to the University of Texas, San Antonio, from a college in Ohio to complete her BA and become a CPA. She has never lived in Ohio since.
When Lynn was 3 years old my mother moved from Ohio to Savannah GA. My mother and I had always been close and we learned how to maintain a fairly close relationship long distance before cell phones and the Internet with e-mail & Facebook, etc.
So when Lynn moved away, we stayed connected. Cards, letters, hours on the phone, just like my Mom and me. I learned that, as a Pitcher Lynn needed lots of surface chat time, before she would open up and talk about what was really going on in her life. God graced me to listen a lot. I thought I would have scars on my tongue from biting it so many times to keep this Basket’s mouth shut. But Jesus showed me she already knew how I felt about her lifestyle and telling her over and over again would only break the connection He was going to use to restore her to Himself.
In those next ten years I prayed for Lynn. A friend gave me a little book, “Praying God’s Will for Your Daughter.” It really helped me. It encouraged me. I quit focusing on Lynn’s problems and seeing her as the problem. I started to see her how Jesus saw her. I filled many journals with prayers for Lynn.
I had prayed all the time she was in San Antonio that God would put a Christian in her life. She lived close to both Max Lucado and John Hagee’s church in San Antonio, but never once in six years did she meet another Christian.
Shortly after Lynn left San Antonio and moved to Boston, Mass she called to tell me the first day on her new job that she had met a Christian. She said she met this Christian guy. Well, the LORD and I had a talk. She had enough men problems. I was thinking more along the lines of a Christian woman. The LORD reminded me that I hadn't been that specific and He knew what He was doing.
She shared with that young man that day that she was raised in a Christian home, had gone to a Christian school and memorized many Bible verses as a child. Later I learned that that young man started praying God would return her to the God of her youth and put a fire in her to serve the LORD with all her heart.
Her early years in Boston were very stormy. She had divorced the man she moved to Texas with after they both had an affair. She moved in with her boyfriend (the one she had had the affair with) and was very unhappy. They worked together in a big accounting firm and made lots of money. They worked long, long hours but we still stayed connected on the phone---listening, listening, listening - praying, praying, praying. We visited, but due to job reasons her father and I moved seven times in the first five years she was in Boston, so mostly our connection continued to be cards and letters and long phone conversations.
Sally and I had started the process of writing V&F and spent hours and hours talking and praying together. We were both in a season of our lives to get away a lot and got away with our dear friend, Harriet Gallaway, to seek the LORD for the book, but also for our life in Him. His sweet presence was with us. Similar to what you all experienced in Hot Springs.
Meanwhile, shortly before our sixth move, Lynn’s grandfather, her beloved “PaPa”, became very ill. And in eleven months he died of a blood disease. During that time Lynn visited him in Ohio seven times. Each time she came she would go home with a desire to be with her family more. Her boyfriend said she changed when she went home and he didn't like it.
She later shared a time when he took her to a rock concert and she was miserable. He called her a name I won't repeat but basically a prude. She looked around and saw her life for what it had become and feared for her future, and the future of the generation to come. She became physically sick. There in the middle of all that represented the rebellion in her life she cried out to God for help.
A few weeks later we visited Boston and one evening Lynn and I did one of our favorite things to do together--we went shopping. She wanted to take me to a store up on the “north shore”. We talked and drove for hours. Finally we realized we were lost. We never did find the store, but Lynn was ready to listen. She wanted her prodigal days to be over. She felt stuck, helpless to do anything, close to a point of surrender.
After we return to Indiana, where we were living at the time. The LORD gave me a word for my daughter and I knew she was ready to hear.
Here is a copy of the letter:
July 1999
Dear Lynn,
After we returned from Boston, the next day I sat down and wrote out my thoughts about our conversation on Monday evening while we were driving all over northern Massachusetts.
This verse came to me:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you
hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray
to me and I will listen to you, you will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you."
God does have a plan for you—still even with everything that your life has been or not been over the last years. He has plans to prosper you spiritually. He does have plans to give you “a hope and a future.”
You said that your relationship with us has been one that feels unconditional love, and that is the one relationship you have been successful at. Well, God’s plan for your life no more includes punishment and condemnation than ours does. He wants you to have “a hope and a future.”
God accepts you more than we do. He looks at the past, present and future and sees how it all connects. Like a big grid with electrical impulses that all connects—it is child’s play for God to see how it all sorts out.
I have realized how it takes us a while to get past the time of “chit, chat” until we can really talk (like we did the other night) and get to a level of communication that is deep, personal and meaningful. That is what God desires with us—not just “chit chat” (although God must enjoy that part too). But He waits for the deeper fellowship, deeper relationship, and the intimacy that isn't a stiff, religious life in a box, a compartment set aside. He doesn't want a relationship focused on what we DO or DON’T DO in our lives.
I didn't try to give you pat answers the other night. You know I have been tired of pat answers all my life. People all have ideas, demands, and formulas of how to have an intimate relationship with God. I believe you said, “it didn't stick” for you. How others said it was suppose to work—pat answers of how to have personal devotions, how to pray, how to worship, how to go to church, how to be a “good” Christian.
I know you don't look at your mother as a rebel. But I was looking for answers too. Of course, my seeking was different. I tried for a long time to do it everyone else’s way. When I heard that a really deep prayer life was to go into your “prayer closet” to pray, I did and soon I was rearranging the closet and noticing that the wall paper needed replaced and started to rip it off. Then it dawned on me—God wants a relationship with me that is as unique as I am. And God wants that the same with you.
No one can start with God anywhere but at salvation—but it is just the beginning, the start, and it’s easy to get “lost” again. Not lost from salvation but lost from a deeper relationship with God. But just as flowers and grass look dead in the winter, it is just a season. God’s plans have “a hope and a future” for them also—SPRING. Our plans do not have a guarantee for spiritual prosperity (a hope and a future). Only God’s plans do.
If you seek God, you will find Him. He does not hide from us. Our enemy wants us to believe that. But God waits patiently on us as we go through our “winters.” While He waits, He doesn't have a time continuum to wait in, He sees you at 28 and doesn't have to wait until 38 to see you then. He sees it all at once. That’s why He has so much hope for you and your future.
He is proud of who He made you to be. He has so much hope for you. Not the kind of “great expectations” that causes pressure, but the kind that encourages. He is patient and will wait for you.
What a different God He is than so many portray Him to be. Yes, He is a God of justice and His death on the cross took care of that. He does judge sin, but He gave you His righteousness and it’s just as much yours now as it was when you accepted it.
God extends His grace and mercy to His own even before we turn around and seek Him. He gave Abraham 12 chances (the recorded ones, who knows how many more) to develop the faith to ultimately sacrificed Isaac. He failed most of them but God just kept giving him another chance to develop trust in Him.
God allows and orchestrates the sin in the world and our sin to create hard times that will help us see our need to work on our relationships, especially our relationship with Him. That is all part of His plan to prosper you spiritually—it’s how He knows He has “a hope and a future” for you.
A Letter to Lynn from God
For I know the plans I have for you, Lynn, plans to spiritually prosper you. Lynn, I have plans to prosper you. I have plans to give you a hope and a future. I know you will call on me and find me when you seek me. I am waiting to listen and be found by you. You will seek me with all your heart Lynn, and I will be found by you. And I will bring you back from where you have been in the captivity of “the world””—back to the relationship with Me I have planned. You think that you took yourself there—but I took you to captivity and I will carry you back. It won't be a hardship for you I will carry you. This is a trip that you cannot “do” yourself. It is not a struggle or a religious procedure. I will do it—they are my plans. I began a good work in you, Lynn, and I will complete it.
Taken from Jeremiah 29:11-14 & Philippines 1:6
I love you with all my heart my darling daughter.
Mom
She called and asked if Sally and I would meet with her in Lima.
She flew home a few weeks later and Sally, Harriet and I ministered to her for one whole day. The only instructions we gave her when she returned to Boston was to get up in her Abba Father's lap and get to know Him-let Him love on her. She said later that in the airplane on the way back, Scriptures that she had memorized years ago came flooding back into her mind-continuing the healing process.
She immediately called that young man she met her first day in Boston and ask to go to church with him, then broke up with her boyfriend.
Our daughter-in-law told us about this gal that taught awesome Bible studies. So I ordered Breaking Free by Beth Moore. I watched the videos and did the study in one week. It changed me in so many ways. I knew this was going to be the help Lynn needed. Little did I know that Lynn was just the beginning of the ministry God was moving me into--helping young women with men issues, who were in bondage, come to know freedom in Christ.
We knew at that point that knowing who they were, V&F combined with who they were in Christ was the power of the Holy Spirit to transform lives. Lynn went on to commit to be single until the LORD brought her husband.
She met her husband during that six-year period, but God did not reveal him until they both were ready. Three years ago Lynn asked me to be her matron-of-honor. After the wedding a gal from Lynn’s church said during the ceremony as I stood beside my daughter, she saw me as an armor bearer, standing beside her-protecting her with my prayers. The next morning during my quiet time the Lord told me, “Well done. And now your duty is over.” Lynn displayed a copy of the letter I sent her as a part of the story how God healed their broken lives and brought them together.
As I said Lynn was just the beginning. The next year we moved back to Ohio and one morning at church our pastor called for the laying on of hands to send people out in ministry. The word “divorce” came to me. Shortly after that, a man in our small group spoke a word over me. He saw a line of wounded women lined up at my door. I would bring them in and sit them in the lap of Jesus.
During the last 10 years woman after woman came to me and God, through the power of the Holy Spirit and His marvelous Word, has used many people of God--Beth Moore, Neil Anderson, Nancy DeMoss, Craig Hill, and of course V&F to help me minister to these women--many ravished by divorce, sexual abuse, abortion, lesbianism -you name it.
One of these women is the young woman Sandy, (real name-Mitzy) who I wrote about in Chapter One of V&F. She and her husband had gotten a divorce after she got involved in an affair. She was a mess. She worked in a salon of a very dear friend of mine. She brought Mitzy (her Velvet Box /Rose friend) by the hand to my house. We started Breaking Free. (The Lord had been very clear to me that ministry for these women was always to come out of Bible Study). It took us months to get through the study. But one morning I was sitting at the local auto repair shop getting my oil changed. I was reviewing the chapter Mitzy and I were going to cover that day and the Lord spoke to me (as a Daisy this doesn't happen very often) and said “Today is Mitzy’s day!” That day Mitzy prayed and asked Jesus to be her Lord and Savior.
One month later her ex-husband, Scott, (a Pitcher/Leader) kneeled in the middle of our living room floor with my son, Jeff and I, and gave his life to the Lord. (Both Jeff and Scott are six foot four big strapping men). After much ministry, counsel and Bible Study, tears, confession, repentance and prayer, prayer, and more prayer---Scott and Mitzy remarried. Their two little boys gave their mother away to their Dad. Only God!!!!!!!!
Then there was Diana, divorced for 20years, loved God—a single mom with two older sons and a 10 year old daughter. Diana (Velvet Box/Rose) and I spent two years together as God ministered to her, revealed Himself to her, healed her and released so many gifts in her to serve the Body. Little did we know that she would marry Sally’s son Keith. On their wedding day she wanted me to be with her in the little hallway at the church as I prayed over her one more time and watch another spiritual daughter walk out in freedom.
Then there were Sarah, Peggy, Karen, Sherri, Tracye, another Lynn, Sandy, Vicky, Lori, Stacey, Eva, and sweet little Kayti--the line continues to this day. The two threads that connect to God are the ministry of forgiveness that He used Sally to mentor me in (that’s a whole other story) and V&F. Each Vessel and Flower forgives in a very specific individual way and without forgiveness from the heart, healing cannot come. God has graced me to be a bridge (knew you would love that) -- that ministry of reconciliation to women, mostly young women. All the while Sally and Harriet pray for us, and encouraged me in the Lord.
Last weekend our church had a ladies retreat and my precious spiritual daughter Mitzy was one of the speakers. (She cried when she watched the DVD from the weekend and cannot wait to meet you all.) Eight years ago she was baptized and now she was sharing what God did in her life, but she was very transparent to share the struggles she has had in her life with God. She got hurt in the church and got into a “Jesus and me” stronghold and isolated herself from community. She is just now ready to get back on the front lines in ministry. Many of the women I have talked about were there, as I just sat back (that is where God has me with all of you right now) and realized that here were so many of my spiritual daughters (Sally claims them as her spiritual grand-daughters) and can't wait to introduce them to each other so they can share what God has done in their lives through V&F.
Mitzy wrote a devotional for the woman’s retreat called “The Adulteress Women” I wanted to share a little part with you.
“I came to a point in my marriage where I felt trapped, and soon believed that I no longer desired to be married to my husband. I even convinced myself that my love for him had turned to hate. I was realizing my “fairy tale” life did not exist. Walking this road soon led me to the inevitable –I gave my affections to another man. He said all the things that I thought I longed to hear—and so my affair with him began. I believe the ache in my heart would get better, but the adulterous affair only worsened things.
A very good friend of mine, recognized the turmoil in my heart, encouraged me to go and talk to Christian friend of hers. Desperate for help, I went, and she introduced me to Jesus Christ”.
So as you can imagine having God just “plop” 12 more spiritual daughter into my lap has been an amazing blessing to me. It has been one way of God blessing me in the middle of a very different season of my life. I still meet with a few gals on a regular basis. I get to teach at our church occasionally and lead a “cell group” in our home once a week, but mostly; spending time with my husband as he works out of our home, visiting my 86 year old father at his home and taking him out to Cracker Barrel once a week, visiting Duane’s 88 year old mom and taking her to the Dollar Store, helping my daughter- in-law while she home schools our 5 &7 seven year old granddaughters. (This week I am teaching the Pilgrim Story) and, taking care of 15 month old Gabriel whenever I can. He’s a blast!
Also, I take care of 5 checkbooks and many details for two businesses. I am telling you all this because I know you all know that I am not the Email/ Facebook person in all this that Sally is. It is not that I have let you all go through my Basket, it is just that God has not given me room to put you in my Basket on an on-going basis at this time.So I will continue to “Blog” occasionally as the LORD gives me reason and time. I enjoy whatever things Sally passes on my way from you all. I do pray for you as the LORD leads and look forward to whatever connections in the coming years the LORD orchestras as He did last week when Alice came to Ohio.
God bless you all, my beautiful, wonderful spiritual daughters, as you grow to know Him better.
A big Basket hug to you all!
Brenda
P.S. I have my beautiful bookmark you all gave us in my journal and read it occasionally just to remind myself of what you all said about me behind my back last summer in Arkansas! Thank You!
